Disability Parenting & Divorce: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Hi, it’s Kim and that’s me up in the hot-air balloon flying over the Sonoran Desert. It was a bucket list adventure marking a major life event: Divorce.

A colorful hot-air balloon soars above a desert cliff covered in saguaro cacti.

One month shy of our 28th wedding anniversary (31 years together), Chris and I amicably parted ways. In 2009 I got sick with a serious autoimmune disease and I thought my life was, literally, over. Thankfully, I found a great rheumatologist who improved my quality of life but fatigue, malaise, and the ongoing cost of treatment took a huge toll on our relationship.

Then in 2012, when our youngest son Kai was ten, a retinal specialist diagnosed him with progressive sight loss. We were overwhelmed, grieving and ignorant of disability models (medical/social). Over time, we realized that the social model of disability felt right to us. We believed that the difficulties encountered were not because of my illness or Kai’s blindness, but because of the lack of accessibility and social support for disabled individuals. If you are new to all this, I highly recommend Emily Ladau’s book, Demystifying Disability.

We quickly found out that advocating for a blind child’s education is a challenge. Blindness is rare and certified teachers of the visually impaired are in short supply (and underpaid). Plus, school administrators don’t want to allocate their budgets to pay for braille or assistive technology for a single student. They’d prefer to use funds for something that multiple students will utilize. So, I used my extremely limited energy to hold our rural school district accountable to providing appropriate accommodations. (I fought like hell.)

My goal: To ensure that Kai had access to materials at the same time as his peers.

To be clear, there were other marital issues but the stress of my own disability and the complexities of disability parenting were major stressors. Thankfully, both my boys (Cash & Kai) are happy, independent adults now and I can focus on my own health, wellness, dreams, and goals.

So as an aspiring author I embraced Nora Ephron’s words, “Everything is copy” and publicly committed to unpacking the research about the 87% divorce rate between parents of disabled kids. I read primary research, personal essays, articles and listened to podcasts and then…

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The Power of the Long White Cane Shines Bright in Grand Junction

Guest post by Rob Harris #AdvocateDad

Three years ago, the Young Visionaries began a mission to educate our community about life as white cane users. What started as a simple walk down Main Street in Grand Junction, Colorado, has blossomed into an inspiring movement of awareness and change. Yesterday, we celebrated that journey with our White Cane Day 2024 event—and what a day it was!

Under the dedicated leadership of Joanne Stamp, Rob Harris, and Erin Allard, this year’s event was a resounding success. Their tireless efforts, along with our amazing volunteers and community partners, made the day exceed all expectations. Together, we hosted a vibrant resource fair featuring more than 15 local organizations. The Center for Independence graciously provided the perfect venue, welcoming over 70 attendees eager to learn and connect.

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The Benefits of Staying Active in The Face of Adversity as Told By 16 Disabled Athletes

In the month leading up to the kick-off of the 2024 Paralympics in Paris, Navigating Blindness featured sixteen blind and low-vision athletes. These athletes shared their adventures and their thoughts about why it’s so important to give disabled children the opportunity to participate in a wide range of activities. Below you will meet the participants and read about how staying active helped them overcome adversity.

Kai Owens (Instagram)

Our very own Kai Owens who lost his sight at the age of ten to ABCA4 retinopathy and autoimmune retinopathy shared a short video of himself skimboarding at our local beach. For him, watersports relieves anxiety and helps him feel included with a great group of ‘beach’ friends he grew up with. (You can watch him skim by clicking here.)

Kai also shared three videos of himself from a brothers’ trip to the Oregon Coast. In one video, he is seen crossing a stream on a large fallen log by navigating with his white cane. (Click here to watch.) In another video, he’s carefully navigating across a beach filled with boulders. (Click here to watch.) In the last video, Cash and Kai are at the summit of God’s Thumb formation. When we asked if it was scary Kai said, “Yes, but the fresh air, elevation changes, sounds of the wind and waves, and being with Cash was great! I crushed it!” (Click here to watch.)

Early on our family discovered that brothers’ trips were a great way for the boys to bond while doing activities they love. Their first brothers’ trip was to Erik Weihenmayer’s NYC Summit! Speaking of Erik, we featured him, too!

Erik Weihenmayer (Instagram)

Erik Weihenmayer’s blindness was caused by juvenile retinoschisis, which affected his vision from birth and eventually caused him to go completely blind by his early teens.

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